Yesterday I got put into difficult situation.
But here’s the catch: it was difficult because of me. (nuts. I hate it when I happen.)
For the past 7 months Merchant Band has been working on our sophomore release. As you all know, things never work the way you want to and so six weeks ago it became crunch time to record the drums. I was expecting 10 days in September, I got 2 and a half in July.
It’s my own fault for not practicing some of the songs before recording them, but yesterday I was informed that I didn’t play my favorite song on the album well enough to keep what I recorded.
This is not a big deal, right? Right. But…what I found out next made it a big deal to me.
Their solution to my problem: Bring someone else in to record that song because they don’t think I can pull it off. OUCH. I wrote the drum part and apparently can’t even play it. What hurts the most is the seeming lack of faith in my ability as a drummer by those in charge. However, it’s not like they didn’t give me the biggest benefit of the doubt, listen to all my takes and evaluate the whole situation.
(To put a little perspective on things: Did you know that Ringo Star didn’t play drums on the Beatles’ first album? He was so bad they wouldn’t let him in the studio, but the publicity guys wanted him in the band ‘cuz people dug him.)
This is the kind of thing that can either eat you up inside or make you more like Jesus. I’m fighting for the latter here.
It’s little situations like this that make me realize where my heart and attitude are. This whole thing is hard for me because my pride and false-identity have been wounded. My self-ambition got a detour. Thank-God for pointing out the weeds in my heart.
Technorati Tags: Humility, Life, Meekness, Music, The Beatles
Chris said:
My mom said there would be days like that…even in Kansas City! Prayin’ with you bro, cause I been there before.
Posted on September 7, 2006 at 12:20 pm
Jo said:
Thanks for sharing in your honesty Shawn. It’s hard how God uses some situations to actually better us even though we don’t get it or it hurts.
Posted on September 7, 2006 at 10:22 pm
Hollie said:
Shawn, I’m standing in awe and amazement at your levels of vulnerability on your blog. And I’d just like to say that, as I sit in conference worship this morning, I really respect you…Actually, I just really respect you in general. Grace, grace.
Posted on September 8, 2006 at 9:41 am
Nathan said:
Part of being a musician… one of the worst parts. I concur that you by contrast, had the guts to put in writing what we all feel!
Posted on September 8, 2006 at 3:59 pm
Anna said:
Babe, you’re amazing. You are one of few who would be so honest about your brokenness. When I do actually discover my unperceived ambition, I usually try not to tell others about it.
I’m so proud that I married such a humble man
Posted on September 9, 2006 at 1:36 pm
Shawn said:
Thanks guys. You’re all too kind.
And Hon, I wasn’t humble until I got married, FYI. And I’m still not too sure about that.
Posted on September 11, 2006 at 8:42 pm
Ronni said:
awww… you guys are too sweet.
Wait 10 years… see how humble you are then! LOL 
Posted on September 12, 2006 at 1:40 am
Life after Merchant Band | Fighting to Stay Awake said:
[…] I’ve been here before. The pressing issues of unperceived ambition and pride are right back on the surface. […]
Posted on February 13, 2007 at 9:37 pm
How I Navigated a Massive Change of Seasons | Fighting to Stay Awake said:
[…] Some hard things came up during the recording for The World Can Wait that really pricked my pride. (Read the Post) Then in December it was decided that I should leave Merchant […]
Posted on February 26, 2007 at 9:39 am