It seems that the most common issue in Christian ministry is the issue of intimacy and relationship with God. When I was in high school and then Bible college my paradigm of going into ministry was really just based on my own pride and hunger for the spotlight. I wanted to be this big preacher guy who had the fire of God and would do radical alter calls, etc, etc… I didn’t think it was based on pride at the time (we never think that), but looking back I realize now that if I had gotten any power on my life my relationship with God would have gone down the tubes a lot faster than I would have realized.

Today I’ve been thinking about what my life and salvation would have been like if I hadn’t been in a prayer room for the past 5 years. What if I had finished out Bible School and then gotten a job as a youth pastor, or as a traveling speaker or something? The reason I left school in the first place was because I realized that my classes weren’t teaching me anything about character or integrity or life in God. As a Youth Min. Major most of my classes consisted on how to keep attendance in your youth group, how to grow your attendance, how to plan a summer camp and so on. But none of my classes taught me how to get out of sin so I could lead others out too. None of my classes were on how to pray and fast and study the word. My Bible classes were super interesting and full of information but they didn’t teach me how to get the Word living and burning in my spirit to make me alive in God. If I had kept on that course I wonder if I would really be saved…maybe enough to get by but would I have made it through the days ahead? Would I have survived through the fire of God’s coming judgments, or would I grow cold and then offended eventually to fall away and be one among the many in the Great Apostasy?

After having virtually no “ministry” (as some would define that term) for the past five years I’ve come to realize that God really doesn’t care all that much about the size or effectiveness of our ministry anyways. My point is that He does care about our ministry and about us touching and reaching other people but if we had a big or small ministry that won’t count in eternity. The only thing that will not burn away is God’s word. Whatever we do in life that is not out of a humble heart in service to God won’t count. That’s why even a cup of cold water means so much and will never be forgotten because if it’s done as a gift to God it’s an act that will be remembered for eternity.

In the sermon on the mount Jesus doesn’t say anything like, “Blessed are those who preach to the masses,” or “Blessed are the miracle workers,” or “Blessed are the anointed worship leaders.” He says blessed are those who hunger and thirst for God. Blessed are those who pray and fast and give their money to a place that moth and rust do not destroy. Blessed are those with treasure in heaven. How many ministers of the Gospel are there in America today who have traded their relationship with God for ministry? They think they don’t have time for personal devotion and prayer because they have to get the new fresh sermon. But true ministry will flow out of a heart that is alive in God.

I’m not trying to say that we should forget about ministry and just do our thing and love Jesus. But I think there is a better way to do ministry than what the norm is today. I think there’s a better and more effective way to really touch people than to hurry up and get behind that pulpit and start preaching. I think that the most effective way to do ministry is to wait until you’re ’sent by God.’ What if instead of going from High School to Bible School to Seminary to Associate Pastor to Senior Pastor you just waited? What if you just waited in the presence of God and built a prayer life? What if you read the Bible 100 times before you preached even one sermon? What if you waited to get God’s vision for your life and ministry before you just went for it? I don’t know how much this is making sense or if I’m even making any sense. I feel like so many ministers are so zealous to touch people that they’re hurrying up to get out there but they don’t really have anything to offer so they’re not producing that much fruit, and the fruit they are producing is just dying off anyways.

What I want for my own life is to be in love with God and to have His Word burning in my spirit. I want to have a real relationship with Jesus. Then out of that place I want to be a noble vessel to be used for noble purposes. Of course I still want to see powerful ministry times and anointed preaching with signs and wonders but I want to see hearts touched with longevity. I want to see sound conversions not emotional decisions for Jesus. And at the end of it all I want Jesus to say well done Shawn, you grew in love for Me and for others and you had revelation in your spirit. He won’t be interested in the size of my ministry, He’ll be interested if I responded in love and humility to every situation; and for the times I did I will be rewarded forever.